Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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