I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize