if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
