Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
