zippers are such a cool invention
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
