Already got asked if we're dating
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
