i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
