Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
