she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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