it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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