I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
third nipple confirmed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
