Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
