i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize