Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
