nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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