How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
