i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
