WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
