In the future we'll all be gay
The maid of honor just puked.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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