belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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