Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
