If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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