so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
PANTIES FOUND
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