matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
