so explain again why im purple
no
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
