he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
