So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
