They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
