This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
