i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
