Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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