This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
