I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
