his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
