great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
