Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
love makes seman taste better
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
