I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
