Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
