please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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