She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
