I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
