hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
