Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
