he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
