Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am naked and annoyed.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
