so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
