well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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