I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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