I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
