I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
