I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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