hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
