the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Everything about him screamed your future.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
