she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
