isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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