my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
